THE STORIES
Tony (left) and Allen
Allen’s story
On January the 29th, my partner of 12 years, Tony McNaughton, was fatally stabbed in a coffee shop in downtown Vancouver. He was opening the store with his colleague when the estranged husband of his colleague came into the store, and chased her behind the counter into the staff area. Tony stepped forward to inform the man that he was not allowed in this area and the husband punched him in the face. He then fell into a set of shelves and as he stood up to recover, he was stabbed with an eight-inch butcher’s knife. Since he and the husband were blocking the only escape route, when Tony collapsed he held onto his attacker, pulling him down on top of him and holding his arms, while calling to his colleague to escape and save herself. She was then able to jump over their bodies and escape to safety.
The following day Tony was hailed as a hero by the media and as a result, I found myself having to deal with the local and national press. Now, not only did I have to deal with the sudden loss of my partner, but I had the additional stress of dealing with the media. I tried to maintain a positive attitude in the media, but in private I found myself susceptible to severe bouts of grief that led to hyperventilation and panic attacks. I lost my confidence both socially and professionally, and became increasingly isolated.
Tony’s death left me without a sense of companionship and shared history. The goals and objectives that we had for the future were no longer relevant. The loss of his affection, his humor and his enthusiasm for life was and still is hard to bear.
Tony’s death was a result of domestic violence that had moved from the private to the public realm. Domestic violence is just one example, unfortunately a common example, of an act of violence against women. At the time of his death, the Tony McNaughton Memorial Fund was established at the Canadian Women’s Foundation to provide funding for violence prevention programs in Western Canada. I feel that it is very important for us all to take a stand against violence and support the Canadian Women’s Foundation in its efforts to raise awareness of violence against women and support those women who have fallen victim to such acts.
